She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
