ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I AM VODKA MAN
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
