have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have aggressive nipples.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
