Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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