why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
