Little spoons don't ask big questions
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
