Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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