i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize