so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
