My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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