you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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