I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize