I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
