the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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