hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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