The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
