They should really pass out barf bags in church
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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