I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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