Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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