just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
