Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
