Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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