Even the bartender felt bad for me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
