i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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