oh god the rape fog is back!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
