dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
