Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
