can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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