my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
