The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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