ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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