I skipped work to stalk him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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