yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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