dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
