what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
