Where did you get a picture of my penis
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
