Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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