Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
