worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
