So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
