Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
