Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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