Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
