god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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