I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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