ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she was so not down for the gang bang
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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