Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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