you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
