I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
