is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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