She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
