I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
