He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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