I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
