The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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