don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
