Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
