I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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