I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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