You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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