New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
