...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
