There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize