I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The adults are the big ones right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
