i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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