To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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