considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
