You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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