He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
